Listen, the cop said to me, the thing that really gets you
Is when you’re standing there and their goddamn phone starts ringing.
I mean she’s been dead for an hour or two and her phone is ringing
And it’s on her.
You actually think you should answer it,
But what are you gonna say?
Listen, the cardiologist said to me, the thing is
These people have heart attacks
And then we fix ‘em and get them in for exercise
And the goddamn idiots
Actually complain about how hard it is to exercise
And all we ask them to do is walk a bit and maybe ride an exercise bike
And they don’t want to.
I tell ‘em not to eat cheese because cheese blocks up the arteries
I explain to them that they have to watch their diet
And they say
No doctor I really like cheese.
It’s riding two abreast,
The paramedic tells me
The cyclists shouldn’t ride two abreast,
I saw this just last week.
One guy knocked into the other
And they both went under the rear wheels of a truck.
It’s safer to ride single; I tell everyone.
I gave up cheese and riding two abreast, and I keep my phone on silent
But still, there’s a lot wrong with the world.
People get hard, and then they get crazy.